One Small Step Can Change Your Life
Chapter One: Why Kaizen Works
Chapter Two: Ask Small Questions
Chapter Three: Think Small Thoughts
Chapter Four: Take Small Actions
Chapter Five: Solve Small Problems
Chapter Six: Bestow Small Rewards
Chapter Seven: Identify Small Moments
Chapter Eight: Kaizen for Life
"A journey of a thousand miles must begin with the first step.
Kaizen and innovation are the two major strategies people use to create change. Where innovation demands shocking and radical reform, all kaizen asks is that you take small, comfortable steps toward improvement.
asking small questions to dispel fear and inspire creativity
thinking small thoughts to develop new skills and habits-without moving a muscle taking small actions that guarantee success
solving small problems, even when you're faced with an overwhelming crisis
bestowing small rewards to yourself or others to produce the best results
recognizing the small but crucial moments that everyone else ignores
large goal fear access to cortex restricted→ failure
small goal→ fear bypassed→ cortex engaged→ success
"Courage is resistance to fear, mastery of fear, not absence of fear."
What shapes our lives are the questions we ask, refuse to ask, or never think to ask."
-Sam Keen
Small questions create a mental environment that welcomes unabashed creativity and playfulness. When you ask small questions of others, you channel that creative force toward team goals. By asking small questions of yourself, you lay the groundwork for a personalized program for change.
SHHH... DON'T WAKE THE AMYGDALA!
Make your questions small, and you reduce the chances of waking the amygdala and arousing debilitating fear. When fear is quiet, the brain can take in the questions and then pop out answers on its own timetable.
What's one thing I wish to contribute to the world with my book, poem, song, or painting? Whom could I ask for help or inspiration?
What is special about my creative process/talents/business team?
What type of work would excite and fulfill me
Kaizen Tip
If you tend to berate yourself with negative questions (Why am I so fat?), try asking: What is one thing I like about myself today? Ask this question daily, writing your answer down in a journal or on a sheet of paper you keep in a specially designated place
If you are unhappy but aren't sure why, try asking yourself this: If I were guaranteed not to fail, what would I be doing differently? The question's whimsical quality makes it safe for the brain to answer truthfully, and it can produce some surprising answers that lend clarity to your goals. Someone who is stalled out at work may discover that she really wants to quit and Istudy study lands cape architecture instead; another might be shocked to find that all she really wants is the courage to ask her boss to say "hello" in the mornings.
If you are trying to reach a specific goal, ask yourself every day: What is one small step I could take toward reaching my goal? Whether you ask your question aloud or in the privacy of your own thoughts, please take a kind tone with yourself
the same you'd use for a beloved friend. Recall the experience of Patrick, the manufacturing manager who dis covered that a hyper, exasperated approach did nothing to produce creative answers.
It's a truism in business that a corporation must never grow complacent but must always seek out ways to improve. I often wish that more people would apply this philosophy to their relationships, careers, and bodies, instead of taking these gifts for granted. If you are generally content with your life but would like to remain alert to possibilities for excellence, you can ask yourself a slightly different version of the question above: What is one small step I could take to improve my health (or relationships, or career, or any other area)? This question is designed to remain open, to give the brain plenty of room for play. Be prepared for surprising ans wers!
Often we focus our attention on the people we think are most "important"-a key employee, the problem child, or our mate, leading us to ignore others who may have valuable insights for us. Try asking yourself: Is there a person at work or in my personal life whose voice and input I haven't heard in a long time? What small question could I ask this person?
This question is for anyone who has a festering conflict with another r person, person, whether a boss, employee, in-law, or neighbor, and is trying to get past this problem. Every day, ask yourself: What's one good thing about this person? You may soon find yourself seeing the person's person's strengths with the same clarity and in the same detail as you u do do their weaknesses.
If you tend to feel pessimistic or negative, try asking yourself this question: What is one small thing that is special about me (or my spouse, or my organization)? If you continue to ask yourself this question over time, you'll program your brain to look for what's good and right, and you may eventually decide to capitalize on these shining aspects, perhaps with a new marketing campaign at work or ideas for family activities at home.
The easy technique of mind sculpture uses "small thoughts" to help you develop new social, mental, and even physical skills-just by imagining yourself performing them
overcome their fear of medical procedures
respond calmly in an emotionally charged situation, instead of exploding with rage
learn portion control
get past their resistance to fitness routines
feel more comfortable talking to strangers
become fluent public speakers
Kaizen Technique A Mind Sculpture How-To
Whatever your goal, mind sculpture is a terrific way to ease into your kaizen program for change. In true kaizen fashion, I'll break mind sculpture down into several small steps:
1. Isolate a task either that you are afraid to do or that makes you uncomfortable. Try to give yourself at least a month before you actually have to perform this activity.
2. Decide how many seconds you're willing to devote to mind sculpture for this task each day. Make sure you allot seconds, not minutes or hours; the time commitment should be so low that you can easily fulfill its requirements every single day. Repetition is essential: Whatever you do repeatedly, even if for only a few seconds at a time, the brain decides must be important and so begins committing cells to the new behavior.
3. When you are ready to practice mind sculpture, sit or lie down in a quiet, comfortable spot and close your eves.
4. Imagine that you are in the difficult or uncomfortable situation and looking around you through your own eyes. What do you see? What is the setting? Who's there? What do they look like? See the expressions on their faces, the clothes they are wearing, their posture.
5. Now expand your imagination to the rest of your senses. What are the sounds and smells and flavors and textures around you?
6. Without moving an actual muscle, imagine that you are performing the task. What are the words you use? What does your voice sound like and how does it resonate through your body? What are your physical gestures?
7. Imagine a positive response to your activity. If you are mind sculpting for public speaking, for example, see the audience leaning forward in their seats, looking responsive and interested. Hear the scratch of pencil on paper as some particularly enthusiastic people take notes.
8. When your allotted time for mind sculpture has become habitual and even fun, you may find that you are automatically performing the formerly difficult activity with enthusiasm. But if you're not ready for the real thing, that's perfectly okay. Never force the process of kaizen; it works only if you let change happen in a comfortable and easy manner. You may instead choose to increase the time you spend on mind sculpture-but once again, you should increase slowly, perhaps by just thirty seconds. You should increase the length and pace only when the previous stage of mind sculpture has become effortless. If you start making excuses for not practicing mind sculpture, or if you find yourself forgetting to do it, then you need to cut back on the amount of time.
9. Once you feel comfortable using mind sculpture for this task (and it may take days or weeks or even longer), imagine a worst-case scenario and how you would respond effectively to it. A public speaker might feel nervous sweat run down his face as he sees the audience members looking bored and hears them whispering among themselves. He would then imagine how he would like to spe ak, gesture, and feel in that situation.
10. When you feel ready to take on the actual task, try out some small steps at first. To continue the public speaking example, consider giving your talk out loud but to an empty room or to an audience of one sympathetic person.
Kaizen Tip
Below are some suggestions for applying mind sculpture to specific goals. And remember this: Small questions are a powerful way to generate ideas for mind sculpture. Just ask yourself: What is a tiny step I could make to achieve my goal? Let the question stew for a few days or weeks. When you have an answer, you can use mind sculpture to imagine yourself taking that step.
If you want to learn portion control, imagine yourself at the table. See a plate in front of you with food remaining on it. What does the
food look like? How does it smell and taste? Now imagine putting down your utensil, even though some food remains on the plate. How does the utensil sound as it meets the plate? Pick up your napkin from your lap and note its texture. Put the napkin down and hear your
chair and feel your muscles move as you push back from the table. Imagine yourself getting up and effortlessly walking away.
If self-directed anger is blocking your path to change, try this: Consider a situation in which you are often judgmental or harsh with yourself. Since it's much easier for most self-critical people to be kind to others, try imagining that you are comforting a friend or a small child who has made the same mistake or has the same flaw you see in yourself. Hear that person saying the damaging things you say to yourself, such as "I'm a bad person" or "I'll never get it right!" Now imagine yourself comforting that person. Experience the love and compassion you'd feel toward someone who is suffering in this way. What gestures and words would you use?
If you'd like to repair a ruptured personal relationship, first think of one thing the other person does to push your buttons, leading you to overreact or to avoid that person. Now picture that person performing the irritating behavior and imagine yourself responding in a manner you'd find ideal. How would your body feel? Would it cool down instead of heating up? What would you like to say and in which tone of voice? What posture would you like to assume?
Many of us need help learning to to relax. Choose a recurring scenario that frequently causes you to become irritated or impatient (driving in heavy traffic provokes these responses in many of us). Then imagine yourself in that situation, feeling a sense of internal poise and demonstrating good grace toward others. If you're trying to improve your response to heavy traffic, imagine yourself in the car, your muscles remaining relaxed, your breathing deep and even, and your body cool as the drivers around you honk their horns and behave aggressively. Imagine yourself feeling kindness toward the other drivers-and maybe feel yourself waving to let one of them into your lane!
Goal
Stop
overspending
Begin an exercise program
Kaizen Action
Remove one object from the shopping cart before heading to the cash register.
Stand-yes, just stand!-on the treadmill for a few minutes every morning.
Once a day, note where your body is holding tension (your neck? lower back? shoulders?). Then take one deep breath.
Pick an area of the house, set a timer for five minutes, and tidy up. Stop when the timer goes off.
Commit one new word to memory every day. day. If If t that's too hard, practice repeating the same new word once or twice a day for a week, adding a new word each week.
Manage stress
Keep the house
cle an
Learn a foreign language
Get more sleep Go to bed one minute earlier at night, or stay in bed one minute later in the morning.
The receptionist would personally explain the reason for the wait to the patient and offer approximate time that the doctor would be available.
The patient would be offered the alternatives of seeing another physician or rescheduling.
The nurse or nursing assistant would apologize to each patient who had to wait before being assigned to an examining room.
The doctor would apologize when walking into the examining room.
Before leaving the examining room, the doctor would thank the patient for choosing the practice.
Finally, the receptionist would offer a second thank-you as the patient walked out the door.
Kaizen Tip
For glowing health, it might be best to set your goals lower. Just a few positive changes can have a surprising impact on your well-being. Recent research has strongly suggested that losing 10 percent of one's body weight (assuming a person is overweight to begin with) leads to radical improvements in diabetes risk, hypertension, and sleep apnea. A study at Adelphi University sity shows s that people who used the treadmill just four minutes a day for four days a week (making sure to reach 70 percent of their maximum heart rate), experienced a 10 percent increase in their aerobic capacity-the same percentage as s those those who exercised twenty minutes a
Resolution: Eat more healthfully.
Small Steps:
1. Toss out the first bite of one fattening snack. Do this for one month. This process helps you learn to eat less of a large portion.
2. For the next month, toss out the first and the second bites.
3. Then toss three bites of the snack for a month (and so on, until you decide you no longer want the snack or until there are no bites left).
4. Once you have given up the snack, focus on slowing down the eating process during other snacks or mealtimes. As you eat, put the food down between bites, placing your hand in your lap and chewing thoroughly. Pick up the food again only when you have swallowed the previous bite.
Resolution: Exercise.
Small Steps:
1. If you can't bring yourself to get off the couch, purchase a hand grip to squeeze while watching television (or squeeze old tennis balls). This will burn a few calories and get you accustomed to the idea of moving your body again.
2. When you're ready to get moving, walk around the block once a day, or take one flight of stairs instead of the elevator.
3. Pass one additional house per day, or repeat one extra step on the staircase until you find the habit growing solid.
To further increase your appetite for exercise, think about the activity you would most love to engage in swimming? skiing? tennis? Find an attractive picture of that activity and place it on the refrigerator, on top of the television, or in the corner of a mirror.
Resolution: Save money.
Small Steps:
1. Set yourself the goal of saving just one dollar per day. One way to do this is to modify one daily purchase. Perhaps you can downgrade from a large, relatively expensive latte to a small, plain coffee. Maybe you can read a newspaper for free online instead of buying one at the newsstand. Put each saved dollar away.
2. Another tactic for saving a dollar a day is to share a daily indulgence with a friend. Buy one large coffee and pour it into two smaller mugs. Buy one newspaper and swap sections.
If you save one dollar each day, at the end of the year you'll have $365. Start a list of things you'd like to do with that extra money and add one idea each day. You'll learn to think about far-off, more sizeable financial goals rather than immediate, cheaper pleasures.
Resolution: Meet more people. Small Steps:
1. Think of one place you might go (perhaps a place of worship, an adult education class, or an athletic
social group) to meet people with interests similar to yours. Write it down.
2. Every day, think of one additional location or group and add it to your list. Remember that this is not a to-do list; you are simply generating ideas.
3. Think of someone you know who has a full and happy social life. Ask this person where he or she has met friends.
4. If you like the idea of joining a certain club but feel that you're too busy, keep your initial level of
commitment very low. You might plan to attend just one meeting and promise yourself to leave after only fifteen or twenty minutes. This will help you build an appetite for social activity without wrenching your schedule.
Resolution: Ask for a raise. Small Steps:
1. Start a list of reasons you deserve more money for your work. Every day, add one item to the list.
2. Spend one minute a day practicing your request to your boss out loud.
3. Increase this time until you feel ready to make your request in person.
4.
Before you actually ask for the raise, imagine that the boss responds poorly but that you walk out the door feeling successful anyway, feeling proud of your effort. (This step-really a form of mind sculpture-helps you manage any lingering fears.)
Resolution: Use time more productively.
Small Steps:
1. Make a list of activities that take up your time but are not useful or stimulating to vou. Watching television, browsing through stores, and reading things you don't find pleasant or productive are frequent sources of poorly used time.
2. Make a list of activities you would like to try that you feel would be more productive than your current ones. Each day, add one item to the list.
3.
Once you have identified more-productive activities that you'd like to try, try, go ahead and give them a whirl-but in a very limited, nonthreatening manner. If you want to keep a journal, do so-but promise yourself to write just three sentences per day. If you'd like to take a yoga class, you might begin by just sitting in the studio's lobby and watching students pass in and out. Soon, you will find yourself participating more fully in your activity. And you'll hardly notice that you're spending less time in front of the television.
4. Each day, write down the name of one person whom you feel is living a productive life. Then write
down one thing that person is doing differently from you
Kaizen Technique Learning to Spot Small Problems
Hindsight, as they say, is 20/20, and it's always easier to spot a crack in the ceiling after rain has soaked the plaster. But it's possible to train yourself to see small warning signs more clearly. Try these exercises to sharpen your small-problem vision:
1. Recall a major mistake you've made at some point in your life. Now, take some time to consider whether there were small signs along the way indicating that things were not going according to your plans or wishes. What measures did you have to take to correct the problem? Did you halt your "assembly line" and start all over? Did you ignore the problem in the hopes you'd achieve your result on time anyway?
2. Identify one small mistake you have made today, without becoming angry with yourself for making this mistake. This single act, especially if you perform it daily, will raise your awareness of small mistakes.
3. Now ask yourself whe ther the small mistake you identified in exercise 2 reflects a larger problem, or if it has the potential to gather velocity. (If you misplaced your car keys, for example, ask yourself if you are trying to juggle too many things at once, or are so distracted that you might eventually make a more serious mistake.) By paying attention to this mistake, you will reduce its frequency. If you feel this mistake indicates a more significant problem in your life, ask yourself: What kaizen step can I take to correct this situation?
4. Ask yourself whether there are ways in which you irritate your family, friends, co-workers, or customers. Your new awareness alone reduces the probability that you will make this mistake again, but you should also ask yourself whether this mistake is part of a bigger problem. If you can peg the error to a larger issue, you'll give yourself further incentive to work on it!
Kaizen Tip
These warning signs frequently pop up. Don't ignore any of them!
Disturbing traits in a new dating partner, such as rudeness to waiters or drinking a little too much. Every time I see someone at the end of a relationship, I ask, "Did you have early warning signs of a problem perhaps bad temper, indifference, or substance abuse?" Almost every time, these people admit that, yes, they had seen evidence of this flaw by the third or fourth date. Of course, it's not wise to reject anyone who has the tiniest flaw (otherwise, we'd all be lonely), but you can ask yourself: Is this person aware of the problem? Will he or she take responsibility for it and work to correct it? Does this small flaw point to bigger issues that we need to discuss?
point to iss
Less-than-stellar skills in a job applicant. When you interview an applicant who doesn't quite meet your performance standards but whom you're tempted to hire out of a desperate need for any warm body to fill the slot, slow down and reconsider.
If you don't have a surplus of other applicants from which to choose, and if the candidate is otherwise well qualified, develop a fuller sense of his or her abilities by undergoing three or four more interviews. Be sure to bring up the shortcoming and note how the candidate responds. The Harvard Business Review has reported that it's much more efficient to leave a position empty than to fill it with the wrong person.
Angry or critical self-talk. By this I mean the internal voices that say, Why don't you just give up? You're never going to be smarter or richer or thinner, as discussed in the chapter "Ask Small Questions." It's a myth that this kind of harsh self- treatment will goad us into better performance. In reality, it stimulates the fight-or-flight response (discussed at the beginning of this book) and stops progress in its tracks. You can quiet these voices by bringing your awareness to them and by taking the small steps of kaizen, which are designed to calm the stress associated with change.
Small, persistent signs of pain when exercising. It's perfectly normal to experience muscle fatigue and soreness during a workout and afterward, because the body builds muscles by tearing them down. (If you begin an exercise program with small
kaizen actions, you probably won't get much or any soreness at first.) But if you experience pain in your joints or if your breathing becomes very labored, it's time to cut back and maybe take a few days off. By pushing through the pain, you may create a serious injury that derails your fitness plan. If the pain persists, or if you ever feel chest pain while working out, see a doctor. Any resistance to the small step you have chosen. The challenge is to make the step so small that it is effortless. If your inner voice is harsh and angry at you for not making the change sooner, it will demand a bigger step than may be practical. Remember, you are counting on the repetition of the small step to "program" the brain for the life changes you wish to make. Even small signs
that you are resisting the small step-that you are having to push yourself to do the step-are an indication that the step is too big, inviting the amygdala and the harsh voice to awaken and interfere
Kaizen Technique The Perfect Reward
Think hard before deciding on a small reward. You want the reward to have these three qualities:
The reward should be appropriate to the goal. For Karen Pryor, chocolate was a perfect encouragement to get to class-a small, harmless indulgence. But for the man man told by his doctor to cut back on unhealthful foods, chocolate would be counterproductive.
The reward should be appropriate to the person. If you're trying to encourage another person to achieve a goal, remember that one person's reward is another person's annoyance. For some people, it's a great boost to receive a compliment every time they take a positive step toward their goal. Others think that frequent compliments are condescending. For certain clients, especially those who are hesitant to contact me outside of our scheduled visits, I use phone calls as a reward: Every time they achieve a small success, they call me so that I can congratulate them. Needless to say, this reward would be meaningless for those clients who feel entitled to call their the rapists any time of the day or night!
The reward should be free or inexpensive. You may need to look no farther than your living room. People with all- consuming family lives often find that ten minutes a day with a book or newspaper is a treat. I've known several stay-at- home moms who would like to relax in front of a little daytime television but feel compelled to perform chores instead. If losing weight is one of their goals, I usually suggest they grant themselves permission to watch TV-as long as they are exercising in some way while it's on.
Kaizen Technique Cultivating Awareness of Small Moments
It takes curiosity and an open mind to see the promise of small moments. By cultivating these qualities, you'll improve your chances of recognizing creative potential-whenever it happens to spring up in your path. Here's a series of steps to help your mind stay open, playful, and alert to small moments, even in emotionally charged situations.
1. Look for a person who has the opposite opinion from you on hot-button social policy issues, such as abortion, gun control, or school vouchers. It is helpful if this person is a stranger-say, someone sitting next to you on an airplane-rather than a close friend or family member.
2. Engage this person in a conversation in which all you do is ask questions with only one agenda: to discover and understand the reasons for his or her point of view.
3. Try not to argue, persuade, or sound judgmental.
4. You will know you are succeeding when you feel the person becoming more and more relaxed and chatty as he or she perceives your interest and respect.
using a pleased tone of voice when receiving a phone call from the partner, as opposed to an
exasperated tone or a rushed pace that implied the partner's call was interrupting important tasks inquiring about dentist appointments or other details of the other person's day
putting down the remote control, newspaper, or telephone when the other partner walked through the door
arriving home at the promised time -or at least calling if there was a delay
Turning toward your spouse in the little ways is also the key to long-lasting romance. Many people think that the secret to reconnecting with their partner is a candlelight dinner or a by- the-sea vacation. But the real secret is to turn toward each other in little ways every day."
Kaizen Tip
Most of us spend so much time dwelling on the past or anticipating the future that we miss small moments. Whenever you find yourself lost in worry or regret, try this:
2
Ask yourself: Do I need to learn to change anything based on this worry or regret of mine? If the answer is yes, then take a step toward that change. If the answer is no (and often it is), scan the room for an object or person that gives you the strongest sense of pleasure. Focus your thoughts on this item for thirty seconds. This process trains your brain to live in the moment
As you experience success in applying kaizen to clear goals like weight loss or career advancement, remember to hold on to its essence: an optimistic belief in our potential for continuous improvement.
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